In Honor of Mothers: Our Heavenly Mother

In the heav’ns are parents single?
No, the thought makes reason stare;
Truth is reason—truth eternal
Tells me I’ve a mother there.
When I leave this frail existence—
When I lay this mortal by
Father, mother, may I meet you
In your royal courts on high?
                              -Eliza R. Snow

In the past near Mother's Day I have blogged about other women who have "mothered" me.  I have blogged about my own mother, my mission mom, my sister-in-law, and this year I felt inspired to honor my Heavenly Mother.  She no doubt mothered me in the celestial realms above. I am sure She taught me and loved me dearly.  How do I know this?  Because my mother has taught me and loved me in the manner I am sure Our Royal Mother in Heaven did as well.  

My friend Lani, sent me a link to this review of a recent BYU study called "A Mother There: A Survey of Historical Teachings About Mother in Heaven."  This is a brief description of the article:

"In this paper, we will share important historical accounts that cast serious doubt on the specific claims that, first, a sacred silence has always surrounded this treasured Mormon doctrine and that, second, Heavenly Mother’s ascribed roles have been marginalized or trivialized. With respect to the second claim, we will share historical portrayals of Heavenly Mother as procreator and parent, as a divine person, as co-creator of worlds, as coframer of the plan of salvation with the Father, and as a concerned and loving parent involved in our mortal probation. Finally, we will sketch portrayals of her role in the eschaton."

The $2 that it cost to download was well worth this comprehensive 28 page study.  One of the positive gleanings of their research is that the assumption that there should be a "sacred silence" in regards to our Mother in Heaven is false.  That has never been taught by the authorities of the church.  While we pray only to the Father, it does no mean we are to not speak of Her.

I love this quote by President Harold B. Lee (1963),

"Sometimes we think the whole job is up to us, forgetful that there are loved ones beyond our sight who are thinking about us and our children. We forget that we have a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother who are even more concerned, probably, than our earthly father and mother, and that influences from beyond are constantly working to try to help us when we do all we can." 

May you feel the love an nearness of our Heavenly Mother this special day!

Sacrifice and Childbearing

*This is my post from the Gift of Giving Life blog this week.

Can a woman FAIL at childbirth?

My answer is NO.

What if they carefully prepared to have their birth be one way but circumstances dictated another direction?

Was that a FAIL?

Again, I say NO.

I feel that childbirth is more about the offering and sacrifice made on the part of the mother.  What path did that woman tread?  What was her journey to get there?  It is certainly not something I can judge.

“Sacrifices were thus instructive as well as worshipful. They were accompanied by prayer, devotion, and dedication, and represented an acknowledgment on the part of the individual of his duty toward God, and also a thankfulness to the Lord for his life and blessings upon the earth.” (Bible Dictionary, “Sacrifice.”)

Childbirth offers women a unique opportunity sacrifice and thus to be instructed, worshipful, prayerful, devoted and dedicated.  The entire process should be an acknowledgement of our "duty toward God" and "thankfulness to the Lord for his life and blessings upon the earth."

At one point or another each woman will sacrifice something to bring that child into the world.  For some women it is sacrificing a career, or for others it is difficulty in conceiving.  And for some it is pregnancy that tests the limits of their physical, emotional, mental and spiritual reserves.  Some women easily conceive and carry a baby but experience difficult or even traumatic birth experiences.  Maybe the trial didn't come until the baby did with the darkness of postpartum depression.

Over the years of teaching childbirth preparation and assisting women through childbearing I have come to realize that the Atonement is to be central to the experience.  At what point in your childbearing experiences were you drawn to rely upon its power? I came to the realization recently the the Savior also atoned for our unrealized expectations.  For example, being unable to bear children, or unable to breastfeed, or unable to have the natural birth or VBAC you were planning.  In one way or another the Lord desires that you come to Him and allow his Atonement to heal your heart.

These quotes by Kathy McGrath sum up how sacrifice in childbearing change us:

“Birth is the beginning—the beginning of life, the beginning of parenthood, the beginning of family. Every woman who births must make the journey—cross the boundary—into motherhood. No two women will do it exactly the same way. Each of us must find our own way, our own path.” 
"When we're up against a great challenge, we really find out who we are. Challenges of all kinds—physical, emotional, and spiritual—force us to the edge of our limits and help us discover that we have within ourselves the wisdom and the resources to deal with whatever is on the other side—useful qualities for a new mother."

To each woman who has sacrificed and laid herself before the "altar" of motherhood I say thank you, bless you, I reverence you. (Yes, you have laid yourself at that altar even if you did not conceive, but offered your body to carry life.)

To my dear mother, I am honored that you gave yourself to give me life.  I am humbled and ever grateful for your sacrifice.

 

Wishing you a Merry Mother's Day!

A Gift for Mother's Day

I am thrilled to announce the book is finally done and just in time for Mother's Day.  I just wanted to let you know that if you want a copy for Mother's Day you will need to order right away.  Wow, it is great that our "baby" is finally here.  It has truly been a labor of love.

To order go to this link on createspace.com.

The book is also available on Amazon but this link allows us to keep more of the profits.  We hope to use the profits to fund future Gift of Giving Life Projects.

Fasting = POWER

Fasting.  The word evokes hunger pains doesn't it?  I freely admit that I do not love fasting.  And yet, I do.  As I approach fast Sunday I am not necessarily looking forward to going hungry but what I do look forward to is fasting.  My heart has been full in reaching out to the Lord in prayer for family and friends.  For whatever reason there has been an increase in needs among those I love.  It is easy to feel powerless to give comfort to them in their trials, especially with those that live far away.  I want to physically be there to ease their suffering.  Yet, part of fasting is recognizing our powerlessness to ease that suffering alone.  The Saviors atoning balm is needed.  And part of fasting is realizing there is power in our recognition of our nothingness before God, "I humbled my soul with fasting" (Psalm 39:15).


The other source of power is in denying the natural man its desire - food and drink.  Someone who cannot fast food and drink for medical reasons can still feel this power in denying the natural man something that it very much desires.  As I am fasting the purpose for my fast has been the power to keep going.  When I think of how much I want to eat, I think of that person, or purpose in mind and I have strength to keep fasting.  The weakness becomes the strength to overcome.  Because of this I feel to thank those I have fasted for.  Their trial or need has fueled my spirit, power to the soul.  

"But this is not all; they had given themselves to much prayer, and fasting; therefore they had the spirit of prophecy, and the spirit of revelation, and when they taught, they taught with power and authority of God." -Alma 17:3

A Birth Story Born of Women's Rights

Sharing my most recent post for The Gift of Giving Life.

With all that has been said about the mommy wars recently, I wanted to highlight what Elizabeth Cady Stanton, women's rights pioneer and philosopher, shared about one of her births:

"I never felt such sacredness in carrying a child as I have in the case of this one.  She is the largest and most vigorous baby I ever had, weighing twelve pounds. And yet my labor was short and easy.  I laid down about fifteen minutes, and lone with my nurse and one female friend brought forth this big girl. I sat up immediately, changed my clothes, put on a wet bandage, and, after a few hours' repose, sat up again.  Am I not almost savage? For what refined, delicate, genteel, civilized woman would get well in so indecently short a time?" (quoted by Gaskin, Birth Matters: A Midwife's Manifesta, 70)

Sadly, many modern-day feminists have forgotten how childbirth and child-rearing was meant to be so valued by the pioneers of its own movement.  Ina May Gaskin points out, "even the writing of modern-day feminists have contained echoes of the recurrent theme of revulsion of the body - especially of the life-giving female body" (Birth Matters: A Midwife's Manifesta, 69). In my opinion, true feminism includes a reverence for the power of the gift of giving life and the nurturing  of it thereafter.  This war between stay at home mothers or working mothers should not exist.  Really it is Satan's deceptive plan to undermine womanhood and motherhood in any form (see Revelations 12).  He wants to take away its value in any way possible.  And as a woman who values feminine power, I am determined that the evil one will not win.

My Easter Feast

While I do love to eat the yummy food that accompanies the Easter season, what I treasure most is the spiritual feast.  It is the kind of feast that we cannot get fast food style, it requires preparation, planning and embracing the unexpected moments.

I am a planner and sometimes this works against me.  I had a schedule for our Easter week with specific activities for us to do. In years past I have insisted we do everything on it.  This year I approached my plan with much more flexibility and bend.  As a result I could enjoy each moment more and in the process we somehow got it all in.  Each activity may not have happened on its assigned day (and some we did not get to at all) but the ones that mattered most for our family this year happened.

The spiritual feast that I did not see coming was our visit to the rest home.  We take the little joyschool kids to sing their newest songs near each holiday to cheer the grandmas and grandpas but in the end I'm the one that comes away feeling fed.  After we sing our songs we stay extra long visiting with the old folks. Each time we have gone their has been this cute little Asian lady that stretches her arms out wide hoping that one of the little children will climb into them.  Each time little Claire jumps into her lap bringing her just the right dose of joy.  We missed Claire this time.  The little old Asian lady's arms did not get filled.

One of my favorite parts of Easter week is the Passover dinner.  We do a very simple version since our kids are still so young.  My kids love the unleavened bread.

The feast is discussing the gospel symbols behind the ritual foods.

Washing each other's feet, we all love this part of the feast.  This tradition has brought some of our most tender and holy moments as a family during Easter week.  We really enjoyed watching the new Bible videos of Christ  too.

The 2nd Annual Allgood Egg Bash was a success.  We dyed our "bowling" eggs first.

Because they have to be pretty before we bash them against each other.

And the winner is . . .

Maryn's magical green egg!

Livi joins in on the Peeps tradition (biting just their heads off is a tradition that Kyle started).

I love the Hymn, "He is Risen."  I had meant to sing with the choir today.  That is usually a part of my Easter Feast.  This year, David needed me to just snuggle him, so I did and that was a feast in and of itself.  So instead of singing with the choir I just sang quietly to David and myself in the hallway (with Olivia playing next to us).

Somehow Maryn got out of her obligatory, Easter Sunday morning photo.  (I think it was because of 9:00 am church!)

Happy, Happy Easter!

Oh How Lovely Was the Morning

Reposting here what I wrote for the Gift of Giving Life this week.

I have been pondering Joseph Smith history lately.  Our ward choir had been practicing and practicing a beautiful arrangement of “Oh, How Lovely Was the Morning” that we performed a few weeks ago.  I love this song, not just for the harmonies but for the inspired words.  I can’t just listen to it, I have to sing it.  That beautiful morning is symbolic of another glorious morning, the Resurrection of our Savior.

Joseph Smith tells us himself of the confusion, discontent and utter despair he experienced leading up to that glorious pillar of light. The way in which he describes the religious climate of his day reminds me of the back and forth contention concerning our current birth climate: “some crying, a ’Lo, here!’ and others, ‘Lo, there!’ Some were contending for the Methodist faith, some for the Presbyterian, and some for the Baptist.”  He also described it as a “a strife of words and a contest about opinions.”  We see this unfortunate war on message boards, blogs, and in private and public conversations (and even a recent LDS Living poll)  concerning the rights of childbearing women and their babies.

In the midst of this Joseph Smith writes, “my mind was called up to serious reflection and great uneasiness . . . my feelings were deep and often poignant . . . While I was laboring under the extreme difficulties caused by the contests of these parties of religionists, I was one day reading the Epistle of James, first chapter and fifth verse, which reads: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

I am likely not the only woman to have felt her “mind called up to serious reflection” regarding the war of words concerning pregnancy and childbirth.   Each pregnancy and birth has brought feelings that were especially “deep and often poignant.” Every time I have felt a certain measure of conflict inside me between the fear-based medicine of the world and the faith-based wisdom of God.  I can never take for granted that I know it all.  Each pregnancy has offered me the opportunity to study and pray, and, because each time I have lacked wisdom, I ask God.  Joseph Smith tells us of his decision to go to God in humble prayer,

After I had retired to the place where I had previously designed to go, having looked around me, and finding myself alone, I kneeled down and began to offer up the desires of my heart to God. I had scarcely done so, when immediately I was seized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such an astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak. Thick darkness gathered around me, and it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden destruction.

But, exerting all my powers to call upon God to deliver me out of the power of this enemy which had seized upon me, and at that very moment when I was ready to sink into despair and abandon myself to destruction--not to an imaginary ruin, but to the power of some actual being from the unseen world, who had such marvelous power as I had never before felt in any being.

There comes a time in the process of conception, pregnancy, labor or birth in which a woman will likely feel astonished at the thick darkness gathered around her.  It may come because of infertility, miscarriage, extreme morning sickness, life-threatening pregnancy complications, antepartum or postpartum depression, difficult labor or healing process, and even when a baby is born sick, still, or dies too soon.  It is our time to surrender, to come nearer to God.  Just when we feel like we are to “sink into despair and abandon ourselves” we are asked to dig deeper, “exerting all [our] powers to call upon God." Through our tribulation, just like Joseph Smith, we can experience that glorious light-filled morning.

[J]ust at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me. It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!

One of the feelings I treasure most about birth is basking in the light that follows as I behold my little ones.  The night before when we “labor[ed] under extreme difficulties” is forgotten and the brilliant morning beams with light.  The process of conception, pregnancy, birth and postpartum have become very sacred to me.  They have brought me to my knees over and over, becoming acquainted with the beautiful offering of our Lord and Savior, who offers us a brilliant morning of forgiveness through his powerful Atonement.  I know HE LIVES, HE IS RISEN, and so WILL WE!

I hope you enjoy these versions of "Oh, How Lovely Was the Morning."  To me this song is also an Easter hymn.

Mormon Tabernacle Choir "Oh How Lovely Was the Morning" (Similar to the version I sang with my ward choir.)

Paul Cardall "Oh How Lovely Was the Morning" (I may have to add this one to my labor relaxation list, so beautiful!)

Wishing you a Lovely Easter Morning!

Sacred Grove July 2011